Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login

Birthdays don’t mean much when you’re on the outside – it’s one the things they say you learn to deal with. I get so confused – and the day I think is my birthday probably isn’t. Technically, I never even had a birth. So when Frost claimed he had a special birthday surprise for me I didn’t put much thought to it. I didn’t look at the code on the screens as I followed him onto the broadcast deck. I never look at it; even just a glimpse puts me on edge.
        “What did you get me?” I joked, as he led me to the chair, “A car?”        
        “You’ll see.” He smiled.
I knew the smile, the secretive one, the one that made his eyes look younger, and remembered how he’d been secretly conspiring with our operator, Virgil, all week long.

I hate jacking in – even when it’s only the construct. Unlike the others, I’ve never completely adjusted to the idea of sticking a steel spike in my head. They say you don’t actually feel it go in after a while, but I still do – I feel the cold chill of metal in my brain. Baud would have liked it. A hacker obsessed with the idea of one day fusing humans and machines. And in some sick, twisted way… he got what he wanted. Poor Baud, the luckless sweetheart from the old life – the life I would never be able to go back to. I closed my eyes, trying not to think on it, and opened them on the endless white of the default setting.

        “When you’re ready?” I called, admiring the leather-clad Residual Self Image.
I knew he was watching... listening. Frost always likes to keep an eye on us when we’re in here alone.

[searching for program ‘nEEd_fOr_spEEd’... program selected... loading...]

The white faded to dark. I was deep in amber lit urban territory, the dim light reflecting from pavement that had just been rained on. The flat roof of a skyscraper – it could have been any bustling city of the inside, from New York to Beijing. I saw the expanse of glittering asphalt, the orange cones that marked out my course, and there - beautiful and mysterious in the half light - my present. It WAS a car, sleek and smooth, sex on wheels. The colour of polished iron and moulded into a curvaceous enemy to wind-resistance. The familiar chill of pleasure ran down my spine as I ran my fingers across the chassis, opened the door, started the engine with keys already in the ignition. It purred in a feline way, growling as I revved it a few times – getting a feel for the pedals.
        Happy Birthday, Pandora, I smiled to myself as I shut the door.

The squeal of complaining tyres rang in my ears as I pushed the accelerator to the floor, leaving only burnt rubber in my wake. Adrenaline pumped, my heart pounded as the world became a blur, the buzz of excitement in my veins. It’s a sickness, I KNOW that, but knowing makes no difference. When you’re obsessed with fast cars the feeling of power consumes you, the feeling of knowing you have ultimate control over something so powerful. I flattened every cone in the row, swerving manically from side to side until each had fallen. Then a high-speed donut, I forced the car to its limits, willing it to tip over as it spiralled faster and faster. Baud would never have understood – his idea of speed was downloading something on a broadband connection. Poor Baud.
With little care, I made a run for a nearby concrete wall, pinning the brake and screeching to a halt inches away from totalling the hood. I laughed carelessly at how close danger really was. Then I saw it; I saw the edge, and a familiar thought crossed my mind.

Impulse ruled in a split second decision. I raced for it, changing up the gears in a fluid succession of movements, feeling the carpeted floor beneath the pedal. I didn’t deserve such a treat. Closer it sped towards me, challenging me... taunting me.
        Baud should be here, it called, He was the hacker, he was the one they were after. He’s the one who should have been saved.
On the passenger seat beside me the cell phone rang, and I ignored it. It was Frost. I didn’t have to answer it to know that, he would only try to talk me out of what I was about to do. Ever the father figure – forever trying to do what was needed.
        Too late.

The car left the edge, spinning aimlessly in the air – and I was falling, falling weightless. The height of the building flashed past me, a blur of darkness with sparks illuminated colour. There was no ground, no safety net; there was no way to turn back time. And the feeling of sudden freedom was exhilarating.

        Black... grey... white...

My feet landed on something solid – the white floor default setting. I swore viciously, knowing that he had cut the program short at the last minute. This is why, I realised with sudden clarity, Frost likes to keep such a close eye on the newcomers.
It’s not intentional. I’m sure he’s figured out by now that we don’t do it on purpose.
The temptation is always there; the voice that pushes us to suicidal limits, telling us to keep checking. What if none of it is real?  How are we supposed to know which world is the real one when the fantasy seems so much more plausible? Here, living in some tin can with a bunch of people I don’t know, floating through the sewers of a ruined world, chased by monstrous artificially intelligent machines? This whole thing is too much like a nightmare, and I keep waiting to wake up – to see Baud sitting in front of his monitor, scrolling through some nonsense online and telling me it was all just a bad dream. Poor Baud.
Sighing, I smoothed myself down, shaking loose imaginary creases that didn’t really exist.
        “Not that I’m ungrateful, or anything,” I yelled, knowing Frost would hear, “But get me the hell out of here!”
As I waited to be taken back to the world of my waking nightmares, I tried to remember the brief joy of seeing that car sitting there, despite the fact that it wasn’t real. No, there hadn’t been a real car like that made for a long time. There hadn’t been much of anything I longed for made for well over 100 years. A new car, the latest fashion, or even a simple bar of my favourite candy… little luxuries that I would never have again. And with that a thought returned, clouding the memory of delight.

Birthdays don’t mean much when you’re on the outside…
This was the story that originally accompanied my poor artistically persecuted Pandora [link]
on divcore 's Matrix RPG - which did rock but which certain unsavoury people got pissed off about when they got a bit of constructive criticism. Shame really, it was an awesomely good RPG idea that tragically sort of fizzled out in its infancy...


Well, blah, this is Matrix fan-fic sort of stuff... so please forgive me eternally for the ultimate cheesiness of it. I was going for character stuff here... there are no excuses... I should be punished :fear: :cries: :sprint:

Pandora (c) Me
Frost & Virgil (c) Div
Add a Comment:
hrekka Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2004
Just doing the rounds in your gallery.

I tryed a matricx fanfic once. It was on a train. A high-speed train between Korea and Mongolia. Three guys-I can't remember who, now, were trying to escape a pair of agents. They held valuble data. The piece ended prematurely. One guy -(I think his name was 'phase') has been crushed. The others were on the train's roof, facing the agents.

I wonder where the draft is?

Sorry. This is pretty good. How she kept on alluding to Baud. You could feel how important he was. And I can just imagine Frost, sitting there, smiling, watching the monitors, and drawing her out just before the end....

Damn good.
The-Dazhrak-Lady Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2004  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm not usully a lover of fanfics... but the whole Matrix RPG of my mate got me fired up with concepts, and this was the result.
I noticed how everyone else kinda went for the generic characters, y'know, geeky-style hackers who suddenly became these weird automatic semi-superheroes when they were chosen by some higher power to be 'released' by someone on the outside.
I thouhgt, " ACK! , that's not for me" and started playing around with the idea of someone there completely by mistake... someone who hadn't been chosen for their hacking skills... which is where Pandora came from.
Frost was the name of my mate's (the owner's) RPG character, the sorta captain person.
I showed it to him, and he poked at me continually until I wrote this for the site...

Blah... it's not as bad as I make out... it just... fanfiction ... bah...
wirebound Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2004  Hobbyist Digital Artist
mmmmm, matrix fanfics :drool:
That was a great read. I normally refrain from cars :P I have no passion for them ... but this was extremely fascinating. I* love the matrix and I love the picture you added to it! Bloody brilliant if I do say so myself ... and I do :bow:
I love how you write ... I'm sorry, I say that to much ;)
Divcore Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2004
Oh yeah the Matrix Rpg, that would of worked out if people just followed the instructions, but who knows I may start it back up again ;) I might start throwing a few ideas around an see what I can come up with.

But as usual I love all your matrix fanfics you were the only one who done what u were supposed to do. nice work hun :)
tim-bot Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2004  Professional Digital Artist
That's a good one, it realy drew me in, full of emotion, nice!
The-Dazhrak-Lady Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2004  Hobbyist Digital Artist
YAY! THANK YOU :bow: I love it when random deviant people comment on my stuff, especially when it's my writing because most people can't be bothered have to sit there and read it all :cries: THANK THANK THANK YOU X 2 million :glomp:
tim-bot Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2004  Professional Digital Artist
i'm glad to see that i have brought just a little joy to this sad world, keep it up, i'll be watching for more food stuff from you
Add a Comment:

:iconthe-dazhrak-lady: More from The-Dazhrak-Lady

More from DeviantArt


Submitted on
April 22, 2004
File Size
6.8 KB


1 (who?)